If you are in a good place, mental health-wise, you may be wondering if and how you might help others. I emphasize the "being in a good place" part, because when we are in a bad place, we feel hardly able to help ourselves, let alone others. So can we help others with mental health challenges? The answer is complicated. I would say "yes" and "no."
I would say that there are many positive ways we can help others. Here are the images I am thinking about. We can be lifeline throwers. We can be trail blazers. And we can be trail markers. Here's what I mean by each these images. First of all, we can throw lifelines and life preservers to those around us who are drowning, mentally and emotionally. This might be as simple as letting someone know they are not alone. It might be as "difficult" as telling someone they need to go to the hospital, and that you are willing to take them. Second, we can be trail blazers. I'm envisioning marking a trail on the rocky top of the mountain I call "Dark Place." This is done with cairns, piles of rock marking the trail. We can leave cairns showing where we have found our way. For example, we can tell fellow climbers about our own journey and the things that have helped us, such as medications (and that it is okay for Christians to take them) and meditation (and that there is a type of meditation that Christians can employ.) Check out my prior blogs on these subjects. Thirdly, we can be trail markers. I'm thinking of those indispensable wooden signs in the woods that I call "Help, I'm Lost." These markers point the way to important resources. I'm thinking of pointing others to the legs of the three-legged stool I've written about in prior blogs: talk therapy, psychiatry (as needed), and support system.
But we have to be careful here. For example, we must resist at all costs the temptation of becoming someone's counselor. Why? First of all, this is above our pay grade. Second, it is far too easy to get "hooked." By this, I mean that we can get sucked into the maelstrom of someone else's psychological turmoil. And far too often this can trigger our own psychiatric disorders. Here, I'm thinking of the regular news accounts of someone diving into the water to save a drowning person, only to drown themselves. So we must be firm. Some years ago, a Christian friend with schizophrenia wanted to meet with me on a regular basis for mutual encouragement. I was tempted, but when he boasted about having his own personal counselor I refused. Here's what I told him. I told him I was afraid that meeting with him might trigger my own mood swings. So don't be afraid to be honest and set boundaries. I should add that I pointed him to various resources, including the legs of the three-legged stool.
Of course, reading up on what others may suffer from is highly recommended. If nothing else, it will help you know how better to pray. I am not ashamed to say that I turned to "Schizophrenia for Dummies" to better understand what my friend was facing. For example, I learned that talk therapy is not as helpful with this disease, and that medications were the most effective path. Whenever my friend would contact me, sometimes often, I would ask if he was compliant with (taking) his medications. Time and again I would direct him back to his psychiatrist for help. But I would refuse the temptation to meet with him on a regular basis. The risk of getting hooked was just too great.
So there you have it! Yes, you can and should help your struggling friends, but you must establish boundaries. If you can't swim yourself, please resist the temptation to dive in, hoping to rescue a drowning person. Your risk of drowning is far too great!
Blessings!
The Christian Bipole
Opmerkingen